Lost Autumn
by orangeeyedbeast
Summary: Life is never easy. Immortality doesn't make it any easier. An original character making her way through the Meyerverse encountering familiar friends, enemies, and developing her own way in the world of the undead.


Note: This is an original character who makes her way through the world that Mrs. Meyer has created. There will be some known people and new people. Looking for some feed back and if there is interest, I'll keep writing!

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN _TWILIGHT_ or ANY OF IT'S CHARACTERS.

She was lost. Oh, she knew exactly where she was in a physical sense. Give her a map and she'd point out exactly where she was, but it didn't matter. She felt lost through and through. She had no direction, no goals, nothing to motivate her. Even the thirst wasn't a driving power anymore. There was no passion, no desire, absolutely nothing; it was an awful feeling of pure emptiness. What was worst was she didn't know how to change it. She had run into others, but they offered little to no help. Most told her to just let her predator nature free, but with discretion. 'Never expose what we are' was the advice each and every other creature gave her. _'Do not let humans you don't intend to kill know what you are.'_

This was an easy rule for her. She had spent the better part of a year in remote parts of the country where most humans found it inhabitable. Occasionally she'd run across campers who had decided to go off the beaten path or a shack in which a crazed "mountain man" lived. She'd feel the venom welling in her mouth, as she'd catch their scents. The first smell was always the best. Like the first bite of a homemade meal or sip of a root beer float, that first moment when the she'd first smelt their scent never lived up to when she'd actually taste them. She didn't particularly like killing people and after the realization that human blood satisfied her no more then any other mammal blood, she began to avoid it.  
She came across a wander a few months back that didn't understand how she couldn't tell the difference. "It's very clear! It's the difference between..." he struggled for a comparison.

"Well, it doesn't really matter."He cocked his head with an expression of genuine curiosity. His ruby eyes were piercing in their appraisal of her. This made her squirm.

"What?"

"It's just odd. You don't feel the need to feed on humans?"

"Not really. I get thirsty, but it doesn't matter what I drink. It all tastes the same and doesn't help strengthen me either way. Why buy brand when generic works just as well?"

He laughed at her human comparison and broke his severe eye contact. He didn't question her anymore about her choice, though she could tell he was infinitely curious. They chatted for a bit more, mostly about his past. He was from the Revolutionary War era and had seen so much of the countries history she could have listened to him for hours. As the dusk turned into deep, purple night she could see his eyes become a deeper red and his mood slightly more anxious. "You should go hunt."

"Yah. I know." He threw his hair back in a neat ponytail as if he were preparing for a common routine. He paused. "Is there any chance I could convince you to join me?"

She smiled. He seemed very sweet, kind, and interesting; she could listen to him talk for days. However, she knew this rare good mood wouldn't last and it wasn't fair for this creature to be dragged into her void. "No. I'm sorry darling."

He took a calculated step toward her, placing his hand on her arm. "Why? I don't know anything about you and you seem interesting." He paused. "Sad but interesting."  
A hollow laugh echoed out of her throat. She gently touched her hand to his still holding her arm. "You are a sweet creature, but for now the journey I take is alone. I'm not whole and it's not fair to try and find someone to make me whole. I need to figure it out on my own. " She brushed her hand against his face and then pulled away from his touch.

She closed her eyes and inhaled a deep breath. "If you head about 40 miles to the east...southeast there is a camper who has just put out his fire. Goodbye Garrett."

"Wait!" He called. She halted her hurried pace to turn around and meet his eyes. He hadn't moved an inch, but he sounded as clear as he did when he sat 5 feet away from her. "What's your name, beautiful stranger?"

She paused. "Desdemona, but my friends called me Mona."

"Safe travels... Mona."

The memory of this encounter filled her with brief happiness. She had taken a seat next to the dark lake at some point in her remembering. The leaves falling from the trees disturbed the glassy surface and distorted the image of her into miniature ripples. She'd catch a glimpse of her eyes, lips, hair, but never her entire face. She looked away before she could she her face as a whole, but it was too late for the memories to stop. The panicked feeling she would get from the memories was disappearing. They still brought her great anxiety and pain, but the more she replayed them the more she could understand how she came to be where she was at this moment.


End file.
